Friday, August 1, 2014

When life hands you lemons .. part 3

"When life hands you lemons... take them, because, hey, free lemons." ... errr, something like that.

So none of these stories are actually 'lemons' but I think the 'lemonade' is y'all getting to laugh at my expense. 

Monday morning, I'm finally awake and hopped up on a lot of coffee. Google reminds Dan that Olivia has her 9 month doctor appointment. Dan reminds me. Circle of life. 

I pick Olivia up from daycare and have to use my phone wifi to get some emails out that I will not make my 230 phone call, because, doctor. Barely make it to the doctor on time.

Olivia has to have the doctor see her. Then get a finger prick. Then get a shot. All at different points. All during nap time. All while she is hungry. I planned this well.

Olivia sees the doctor. She's basically the best baby in the entire world. We know that. Clearly.

We wait. And wait. And wait.

Finger prick lady comes in. Does her damage. Bandages her up. She's out.

Olivia rips the bandaid off with her old lady gums (no teeth) immediately.

Blood starts going everywhere. She's grabbing my dress, her shirt, my purse, the office chair.

I suddenly remember that I have band aids in my purse. Supermom, I think. That thought only lasts a few seconds.

Band aid won't stick, because of all the blood. How is there so much blood?

Get the new band aid on and start trying to wipe up the blood. Look up. Olivia is chewing band aid number 2 like a stick of gum.

More blood. More stains. 

Where is shot lady? Why can we not leave?

Band aid #3, but I've got to distract her so she doesn't chew it off. Squeezy pouch of food in my purse. NOT supermom, but thank god I have something.

I start to give her a few bites. She's starving. She loves it.

She starts crawling on the gross doctor floor. That crossed my line. I have a very far line. Sophie the giraffe fell on the chick-fil-a floor and Olivia picked it up and put it in her mouth. Not across the line. But naked baby crawling on the doctor floor? - across that line.

Shoes? Not crossing the line.

I go to pick Olivia up and because she's starving she grabs the squeezy pouch that's in my hand. We're fighting over the squeezy while I am trying to keep her face and tongue off the floor. 

As she squeezes it gets all over her shirt, her face, my hands, my dress, the floor, the chair, and then ... get this ... she squirts it across the 'no food or drink' sign. #Appropriate.

I'm worried I'm going to get in trouble and frantically try to clean up alll of the evidence of the food. In just a few seconds, Olivia throws band aid #3 at me. 

Shot lady walks in. Olivia is pissed. She's never trusting the doctor's office again. Or me. 

I text Dan "not it" regarding her one year appointment. 

After the excitement of the past 36 hours, I am a little scared to see what Tuesday brings.


  1. I just found your blog - it is such a great read (with pictures of an adorable baby!). We have a check up for two of my kids next week - I can't wait to see how long that takes (and shots are invoked). I hope you relaxed after all that crazy!!

    1. Thanks Kristen! Oh I haven't even entertained the idea of what it would be like with two (or more!) at the doctor! You are a saint for taking all three of them! I hope you plan it better than I did - haha!