Wednesday, November 28, 2012

My only picture from Thanksgiving

I took only one picture over Thanksgiving. Just this one:

Beautiful right?!

I call it “an abstract of my pants.” Those are teal sweatpants, in case you can’t tell. Or comfiest travel pants ever.

You see, I have the worst luck on flights. I always sit next to the creepiest people, or the smelliest, so I assumed going to Wisconsin would be no different. (Well, it was different. I sat next to a British girl who looked just like the middle sister from Modern Family, we chatted the whole flight, and it was awesome).

But, I see this man.

Who has this hacking, awful cough. Sneezing and snotting all over his sleeve. Eating 3 (!) checkers burgers. 2 large fries. 1 coke. And a bag of peanuts. Salted. Because he ‘aint eat no s*** without salt.’ And he is the largest man I have ever seen in real life. Looks just like the before pictures on Biggest Loser.

He is there with his mother complaining that during the 40 minute flight, they weren’t going to feed him, so he better eat up. (If you have read a Confederacy of Dunces, see Ignatius J. Reilly. If you have not read it, you should. Perhaps on your next flight).

Anyway, this isn’t about him. Or books. It’s about me. Isn’t it always?

I decide to send Dan a picture of this guy to say “guess who I am going to end up sitting next to?” I do the pretending-to-text-while-pulling-out-the-camera move.

And this huge flash goes off.

HUGE. Who knew my phone flashed that bight? In a panic, I moved the phone down like I wasn’t actually taking a picture of the large man sitting 2 feet away from me. And took a picture of my pants.

There is no way he didn’t notice. There is no way anyone at gate B22 didn’t notice.

So embarrassing! I was mortified. And now I have a slight fear of my camera phone.

I am a horrible person, and I think it was karma. And kind of funny. So I thought I would share the only picture I took over Thanksgiving.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Thanksgiving 2012

Hello all. It has been awhile, hasn’t it? Work being busy, prepping to go out of town, and going out of town have gotten me behind. I thought for sure once on Thanksgiving break – I’d write a few blog posts, catch up, it would be awesome. Then somehow time started flying by in the way it does when you have a day off of work. And now we are back here.

I like for my posts to have pictures. If a memory doesn’t have a picture associated, I feel like I shouldn’t write about it. Well, I’m throwing that out today. I took no pictures over Thanksgiving.

Well .. one. I’ll show you that one tomorrow. Suspense is killing you, I know it.

Long, convoluted, travel-plan-story short: We went to Wisconsin. Dan drove Tuesday, I flew after work Tuesday, and we drove back together Sunday. Koda came too. Caught up? Good.

We got in late Tuesday. I met Dan’s soccer coach at the local coffee shop on Wednesday morning. (That’s how things happen in Neenah, Wisconsin. You order the usual. You run into people. It’s all very foreign). Wednesday was spent mostly preparing for Thanksgiving dinner. I tried to help my mother in law in the kitchen as much as possible. It left the boys to do some target practice with the BB Gun in the back yard. (Also, very foreign.)

For those of you who now think Neenah seems like a southern city, it is not. There was still a lot of cheese eating in Packers sweatshirts, while nodding “ooohhhh yah!” Don’t. You. Worry.

We went out to dinner with Dan’s grandfather and his new fiancee (who is lovely!) on Wednesday night. Had a ton of family over (my favorite) for a delicious Thanksgiving meal on Thursday. I will have to steal my mother in law’s recipe for chocolate cake – it was the best.

Friday and Saturday were a blur, mostly spent in a food coma. I do remember being force fed cheesecake. Against my will.

And now, at work, my chair slowly sinks throughout the day. I’d like to think it’s unrelated.

It was a wonderful time with family, and time off from work. I would do it over and over again if I could. I wish these people didn’t live so far away!

Speaking of far away, we had to start our 16 (turned 19, don’t ask) hour drive on Sunday.

All I wanted was candy. You know, some peach rings, swedish fish, or gummy bears? What’s a roadtrip without candy? Well someone decided that I did NOT need candy that day. 

The first time we stop, (around 7 am) the gas station has no good candy. I cut my losses and think that there is plenty of time to stop later. The second time we stop (around 1), my dad calls. The Falcon's game wasn't working on our phones, so he called to catch me up on the game. Well Dan starts to drive off! I say that I wanted candy, and he said that we 'would stop again.’ Ugh.

Third time (around 4), I am driving, we get Dan coffee, and I turn to stop for candy. Dan says ‘Do you really want to stop now, or just get it the next time?’ I AM GETTING CANDY. I AM DRIVING. DEAL WITH IT.

Wellllllll. That didn’t happen. You see, I pick out my candy, and start to head to the register when the gas station gets robbed! 

Not lying.

The guy behind the counter starts yelling at this guy, “you are stealing from me! Put everything back!”. The guy is yelling back, “you are crazy! Shut up!”

I didn’t want to be part of a gas station hostage situation over some tobacco products. So I slowly put my candy back, and Dan and I shuffled to the car.

Really? Candy? It just wasn’t meant to be.

Our road trip ended around 2am Monday morning with us blasting Nelly and Ludacris (rap, mom.) from the late 90s just to make it through the last hour. Needless to say, we were pretty tired for work on Monday. But I would do it again in a heartbeat!

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Love always wins

Do you guys read Momastery? (I promise this post has a point. And I also promise to be super wordy in the meantime, when getting to that point. Enjoy). The gist of her blog is that it is like a monastery -- but for moms -- and instead of monks -- because they aren't perfect -- they are monkees. I'm not sure I fully get it - but you can read her blog to find out more. 

If you want a good laugh, read this post about her daughter. Actually, read that one no matter what. Everyone needs a laugh.

Well, this year she is doing Holiday Hands (I think she has done it in past years, but on a smaller scale). The idea is simple. That people go through times in life when they are up, and times when they are down. You should give when you are up, you should take when you are down, and that love always wins. Super cheesy right? I love it!

You can find her post here. But it includes small things people are asking for for themselves, friends, families, or children. They could be winter coats for kids, a few used toys as christmas presents, or an older camera for capturing family memories. Many of us have things laying around the house that might end up at goodwill or (worse) in the trash. These are very small things that could completely make someone's month / holiday / etc. 

I encourage everyone to browse the posts. Even if you don't have the financial capability to give to anything this year -- you just might have an old prom dress that will fit the 16 year old who's mother can't afford one this year. 

Dan and I need to keep reading through the posts, but have already gotten in touch with a lady who is collecting Bed Bath and Beyond coupons for Hurricane Sandy victims. Her thought: if they have to replace everything, we can at least help with some coupons!

Seven coupons are in the mail, on the way to her as we speak. 

The gratitude in the responses is what keeps me digging for more ways that we can help. Not sure if this link will work, but look up Momastery on Facebook to see some of the responses Glennon is getting. They will give you goosebumps. 

You won't get a generic-letter-thank-you from a non-profit (not that those aren't amazing as well!) but an incredibly grateful email, directly from the person you helped. 

It all stops on Thanksgiving day -- so keep an eye on the calendar!

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Does Black Spray Paint Come Out of Blonde Hair?

Does black spray paint come out of blonde hair? That was, in a sense, my Facebook status the Saturday before Halloween. Despite no real reassurance that it would come out, Dan and I still went for it. I half assumed we would be running to the store, buying blonde hair dye the next day.

For Halloween, we went as Sandy and Danny from Grease. It was a costume we could pull off with items we had around the house. 

My mother's first comment: WHY... did you own those pants?! 

Umm .. they are Miley Cyrus for Walmart. I bought them for $8 and just knew that one day I would need stretchy pleather leggings. 

Plus, some thigh high boots and a chunky sweater and I might get mistaken for Kourtney Kardashian. My point: these pants were a clutch purchase. Don't be offended if I wear them in real life. 

This is the only picture we got together before my camera died. Odd angle, not ready, self-timer, but you get the gist. I know my hair isn't right, but I had the blonde wig already. 

Speaking of hair ....

Yeah. That was my husband. People were shocked when they saw him. And those who met him for the first time that night, definitely wont recognize him in the future. I am happy to say that three just-in-case-shampoo's later -- he's back to blonde.

I have to tell you, though, that Dan has never seen Grease. I didn't think people like that existed. I merely told him, "We are going to be Sandy and Danny from Grease." "Here wear this." "Close your eyes while I spray your hair." I didn't think there was any issue with Dan knowing who he was for Halloween.

Actual conversation:

Dan's friend: Hey!!! John Travolta!!

Dan: Um. No. I think I'm Danny.

WOW. Looks like we will be watching Grease this weekend!

Update: Since this is my most googled post, after a thorough shampoo, he went back to his blonde self with no signs of the spray / dulling of his haircolor / etc. You can always add some baking soda to the shampoo for some extra scrubbing power.