Sunday, April 27, 2014

Working From Home

I am incredibly lucky that I get to work every afternoon from home. I go into the office for 5 hours, pick up Olivia around lunch, play with her, put her down for her nap, and finish the rest of my work day. 

Since she doesn't nap at daycare, she takes a 2.5 to 3 hour nap when she gets home. Between that and logging on after she goes to bed, I get all my work done. 

I get to play with her in the middle of the day. She gets a good nap in. And when she's up at 5, I'm already home with her. No commute, picking her up, and throwing her in bed. 5:00 is play time! 

That being said, there have been a few days where Olivia didn't have daycare. If she's been sick, we had a few snow days, and this week is her spring break. Those days are ridiculous. 

I have to act like I have my life together - because I don't want anyone to find an issue with my normal arrangement. 

So I present to you, A Day in the Life of Working From Home with a Six Month Old (working title).

I'm up, need to start working because I won't get much time later.
My internet is not working.
Email has been working, but my work Instant Messenger is not. Baby is awake. Dan gets her.
Keep trying to fix work IM.
Work IM was not broken, turns out no one was online as early as me. Whoops. Let's start working.
Dan: Can you watch Olivia while I shower?
Really? I've been working 15 minutes?
Dan puts Olivia down.
Dan: She's down but not asleep. I have to leave for work. Peace out, cub scout. 
(These quotes are not exact).

Run upstairs, put the paci in, baby seems sleepy.
Baby asleep. YES. Just in time for my 1.5 hour conference call.
937 .... 7 minutes late, ugh.
Team: We finally have everyone. Kelley, can you hear us? Kelley, can you see my screen?
(Side note for people like my mom: I call in with my cell phone. They share their screen onto my computer. I have to have both with me. I can also mute and unmute my phone).
"I can see your screen. Good morning!"
Baby's up. Thanks O. A solid 11 minute nap. COOL.

Run upstairs. Baby needs new diaper. She cries when I put her on the changing table.
Team: Kelley, can you debrief us on how testing is going?
Pick up baby. No pants. No diaper. Hope I don't get peed on.
"It's been going really well ... yadda yadda... IT jargon thats super boring .. no one knows what I do."
Get the diaper on the baby. 
Head downstairs.
O needs milk.

Team: Kelley, have you seen this error message before?
"I have not." 
It's a lie. I don't know what we are looking at. I'm not near my computer.

O still needs milk.
Not enough hands.
Set O on the kitchen floor. Think about how unsanitary it is. Ignore those thoughts.
Make bottle.

Team: Kelley, what was the project number you referenced earlier?
"Let me pull that up again."
Buying time, sprinting to my computer.
Olivia sneezes.
Team: Bless you, Kelley.
"Uhhh ... thanks. Allergies."
"Project number 37."
Milk. Forgot about the milk.

Feed O.
O panics because she's so hungry, starts chugging. I'm happy I can sit down.
O sees that the noises are coming from the cell phone. O is obsessed with cell phones. Forget the milk, MUST. HAVE. CELL. PHONE.
Thank goodness I'm on mute.

Hangry baby cries because I won't give her her own cell phone. Isn't it too early for this? Shouldn't she be at least 3 before we have the cell phone conversation.
Hangry baby won't eat because a cell phone is near by. MUST. HAVE. CELL. PHONE.

Walk over to my computer because I need to actually see what they are talking about.
COMPUTERS???? Forget the cell phone. COMPUTERS ARE THE BEST!

Pull up a blank word document so O can type. 
fjiajfiewaiojiljfsjljflewkjrjeare. Change screen super fast before mom knows what is going on. IM boss: "fjeijvvvvvvvvv." Boss: "huh?" Me: "Typo."
No more computers.

Put Olivia in her excersaucer. 
Team: Kelley can you explain what we are looking at?
(Unmute) {"Welcome to our learning farm!"} (Mute) {"We have lots to show you! Shapes and colors music too!"}
Team: Kelley?!
{"Theres so much to do oooooooo!"}
"Oh I am sorry. I thought you meant the other Kelley." 
Luckily, sometimes, there is another Kelley. It buys me time. Walk into other room in case Olivia pushes more buttons.
"More IT jargon"

Smile at baby. She's super cute. Why can't I play with her instead? Contemplate ways of getting out of this call.
I'm on mute right? Oh good.
Get baby out of exersaucer.
Door bell rings.
Dog barks ferociously.
Walk to door.

Team: What do you think about that Kelley?
No idea what they said.
Too much noise.
(Unmute) "I completely agree." (Mute). No idea what I agreed to. Know it'll come back to bite me later.

Package at the door.
Contemplate handing the baby to the delivery guy. UPS does background checks, right?
O sees the mailbox. 'Let's go,' she says with her eyes.
Walk outside.

Team: Kelley, did you get my screen share request?
Crap. Sprint back to computer. (The requests go away after about 30 seconds.)
"No, it didn't come in. Can you send it again?"
One day they are going to catch on.

Baby loves outside. I need my computer nearby though. BRILLIANT PLAN.

Set baby down.
"You're fine."
Undo stroller. Bring coffee. Bring computer. Get baby.

This is a reenactment. If someone were there to take pictures, I clearly would have handed the baby to them.

Work from home attire: Hair in ponytail. No shoes. Pink PJ pants. College fraternity shirt that says "Get Nu'd" (Dan was a Sigma Nu .. get it?).
Neighbors wonder what kind of shambles our lives our in. (Fears later to be confirmed when we hang out in our backyard pool with our portable Margaritaville blender). 

Know that if I stay in our driveway, I will still get our house wifi. 

Stroll laps in the driveway. Neighbors decide we have mental issues. They lock their doors. 

Neighbor lady with actual mental issues comes over: baby so cute.. squeak .. baby girl. Olive. My little Olive. Olive so pretty in her stroller. 

"I'm on a work call!"
..I'm on mute right? ..good.

"I have work on the phone!"

Neighbor: Olive so cute. Squeaky baby. Baby shoes. Olive wear baby shoes. Sammy look at Olive baby shoes. Where's Cody. Cody cutest dog.


Neighbor: Oh so sorry. Sammy come back.

I wish her name were Sammy. Unfortunately it's the dog across the street. No time for questions.

So close to being finished. I have to keep this charade up for ten more minutes. I can do it. 

Olivia is asleep. Best news ever. Ideally, I would like to sit down, but walking works. Just a few more minutes.

11:01, 11:02, 11:03, 11:07
Really?! Doesn't the rest of the team have another meeting? Why is this still going on?

{Ride on lawn mower starts next door.}
Crap. Lawn crew. Won't be able to hear or talk. Have to go back inside.

Wake up O.
Team: Kelley, did you capture all of the requirements? Will you send out meeting notes post this call.
Pick up O quickly. Run inside. Leave stroller and work computer. Lawn crew seems trust worthy.
"Yes, got all of the requirements. I'll send those out."
What am I doing? I have no idea what we talked about. I'll wing it. I'll figure something out.
Team: Thanks for dialing in Kelley. Looking forward to those notes.
"Thanks guys."
Team: Olivia is so great. I never hear her on any of these calls.
"Yeah, she naps a ton! She's a really good baby." Lie #3.
"Have a good afternoon."

Have to figure out these notes. Good thing its nap time. I need a second to actually work.


...Olivia power napped in the stroller. She's ready to go for another couple of hours. No nap for her. Let's party. 

How many hours until Dan gets home from work?!

Monday, April 21, 2014

More Six Month Pictures

And the rest of the pictures, because it was really hard to narrow the 279 I took, down to only 30.




Saturday, April 19, 2014

Olivia - Six Months

My baby is half a year old. I can't even believe it.

Weight: 15 pounds (25%)
Height: 26.5 inches (75%)

Sleep: Sleep is going so well this month! She sleeps from 8-4/430ish, eats and then sleeps until 7/730 and plays in her crib until we get her up around 8. She naps in her crib. Goes down for naps without crying, and will wake up and play by herself until we come get her. She still doesn't nap much, but it is in her crib and without a fight. 

Eating: We just started on some solids, but milk is her primary source of food right now. She eats at 4am, 8am, 11am, 2pm, 5pm and just before bed around 730. She eats a ton.

Best Moment of the Month: Teaching her how to high-five. Also, not exactly one moment, but when we have time to kill before bed and she's a little fussy, Dan will play music (typically Macklemore) and we will all dance and she just cracks up. Really, anything that makes her laugh so hard - we have loved doing all month.

Parent of the Month Award: This one goes to me. I gave her a bath, covered her in diaper cream, and put on her onesie. Then started to feed her her bottle (right before bed). 

I walked to the stairs to ask Dan to bring up more milk and noticed that Olivia had a little less junk in the trunk. 

I forgot one key step in the bedtime routine. The diaper. 

It could have been bad. Really bad. 

Milestones: The high five. I consider that the best milestone she has reached this month. 

She can sit for a little bit at a time, but mostly just wants to stand. When she realizes she is sitting, she straightens her legs and flies backward. No time for that. 

She rolls. And not just the normal front to back and back to front milestone. This is her primary mode of transportation. She spots something she wants and ninja rolls over to it. We can't leave her anywhere now. When I found her chewing on Koda's toys, I realized it's time to childproof the house. 

Clothes / Diapers: She fits into everything. She's out of a few of her 3-6 month footed sleepers, but still fits her teeny booty into 0-3 pants. She has 0-3, 3-6, and 6-9 - she's got a lot of clothes. Still wearing size 2 diapers.

Favorites: She still loves Koda. She likes it when Dan and I hold her like she's flying, and run around in the front yard chasing Koda. She loves her exersaucer that my cousin gave her. It's the only way she can stand without us holding her. We ALSO love her exersaucer.

She loves anything that crinkles. We give her fun size bags of chex mix to play with and she loves crinkling them. 

Computer screens. She waves her arms in excitement and just wants to type on it. If only I had her enthusiasm for my work.

Mail. When I tell her we are checking the mail she gets so excited and the biggest smile. Instead of taking in one mail item, she now MUST bring in all of the mail. She wants to eat it, and cries when we take it away from her. The corner of a post card went missing the other day. That night, I told Dan, "We forgot to give her solids." Dan: "She had paper.." Don't worry guys, I'm sure the ink was organic.

Her pink Sperry's (thanks Aunt Sam and Uncle Jason!) - they go with every outfit. 

So many pictures:

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Escape Artist Part 2

This baby girl isn't even close to crawling. So when she tried to escape, I'm not sure where she thinks she is going to go. 

This happened in just a matter of seconds. Thank goodness for a fast shutter speed.

Then I had to put down the camera in case she face planted. She didn't need my help, and just slid right out.


Saturday, April 5, 2014

Green Beans

I have a lot of catching up to do soon, but for now I will leave you with this picture.

What happens when you take the easy route and buy microwaveable vegetables? 


The bag is hanging in mid-air, stuck to the top of the microwave. 

Tuesday. Always Tuesday.

Green Beans: 1
Kelley: 0

Wait! Don't clean it up -- I need a picture!