I love my mom because

We had muffins for mom today at the girls school. Emma was confused on why I was there, but she got a donut so she was cool with whatever the day had to offer.

She's been sick and Olivia was jealous that Emma got to stay home some. So Olivia and I made a deal to go to muffins for Mom (something she's been looking forward to for awhile) and then spend the day together, skipping school.

I've been big, and slow, and exhausted, and hot and feeling a little bad for not playing with them like I used to. My legs go numb if I sit on the floor so I'm that mom on the chair or couch trying to play dolls. I have moments of not feeling well and need Olivia to help with Emma, or hurry to the car, or reach something I can't.

Part of me wants to tell her that once this baby is out of my belly, I'll be able to play more. But the other part knows that early on I'll have different priorities (tending to a newborn). Saying "6 months from now I can be a good mom again" doesn't work with a child who doesn't understand time.

And then daycare asked her to fill in the sentence "I love my mom because." And she said "she's giving me another baby."

This sweet girl has looked past all the things that I see as me not being as fun of a mom as I want, AND has chosen that exact thing as the reason she loves me the most. She knows what it is like to be a big sister. She can't wait to do it all over again. And she is barely noticing how much I've been slowing down. (Something I've beaten myself up over.)

A little perspective from a 4 year old with a great heart.

And for anyone expecting their second - worried their only child won't be their only - worried about loving two kids - worried about the impact to their first baby and the disruption to their life. Olivia has been there and done that. She knows what a precious gift a sibling is. And it's currently the reason she loves me the most.